What would you do with a second chance? If you could start your life over or change its directions, what would you do and where would you go? Not long after I surrendered my heart to the Lord, my fresh start began with an inkling of a thought dancing in my mind. Perhaps you could describe this as a desire freshly planted in my heart. You see, never in my life had I experienced such delight and contentment in a pursuit as I had in seeking God. King David said, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4). I believe that as I worshiped Jesus, and as I learned His ways and obeyed His commands, He began to cultivate desires in my heart that were His very own!
My budding desire was to become a pastor’s wife. What’s so amazing is that this newfound desire seemed so natural, almost second nature, as though I’d always wanted to grow up and marry a pastor. My pastor, Chuck Smith, always said, “God moves supernaturally, naturally.” In other words, you may not recognize God’s hand of providence in the now, but in hindsight His intervention becomes obvious. So, if you’d told me before I asked the Lord to come into my life that I was destined to become a pastor’s wife, I would have laughed out loud. But after I was born again, I assumed that every good Christian woman wanted to be a pastor’s wife.
One day I told my godly roommate about my little inkling. She looked at me like I was an alien and shouted, “No way! Get thee behind me!” She absolutely couldn’t relate. Apparently this desire was unique to my heart. Honestly, I’d never met a pastor’s wife and didn’t have the faintest idea what one did. Nonetheless, the hunger increased and prevailed until God providentially brought Skip Heitzig into my life. Then my dream came true!
I wish I could say that everything I’ve ever wished for has been miraculously granted, but I can’t. And maybe that’s a good thing. Because not everything I’ve wanted has been a good thing. Like the time I longed to become a buyer for a swank department store. My major in college was fashion merchandising, and I had been voted “best dressed” by my graduating class in high school–I knew how to pull an outfit together and get the designer look for less. But God doesn’t focus on outward appearances; He places importance on the heart (see 1 Sam. 16:7).
I’ve since realized that my desires were shortsighted–God didn’t want me to spend my life playing dress-up. Instead, God placed a new desire within me to adorn my heart. Peter wrote, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel–rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3:3-4).
Oswald Chambers explains that delighting in God puts us in line with His will. When that delight is disturbed, by a hesitation within our spirit or a sense of caution, perhaps it is God redirecting our path. Chambers said, “When you are rightly related to God, it is a life of freedom and liberty and delight; you are God’s will and all your commonsense decisions are his will for you unless he checks. You decide things in perfect delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong he will always check. When he checks, stop at once.”
If your dreams have been shattered, perhaps it’s for a good reason. God might be trying to direct you on a different path. Maybe He’s opening the door to a fresh start that leads to the holy moment of a lifetime!