Cancer Survivor

Goldilocks


Remember Goldilocks’ quest for perfect porridge, a cozy chair, and a comfy bed? She sampled a trio of options in each category that ranged from too hot to too cold and too hard to too soft. Eventually, she stumbled upon the things that were “just right.” It’s true, life really does imitate art. We all encounter some duds before identifying the ideal. For instance, how many pairs of jeans do you try on before purchasing the ones that fit “just right?” Don’t get me started with bathing suits; just the term creates spontaneous rolling of the eyes and heavy sighs in most women.

Well, it’s time for me to trade my golden locks for a wig. Believe me, I tried on some doozies before getting it “just right.” I named the red one “Mrs. Roger Rabbit.” Let’s just say, “va, va, va, voom!” The brunette made me look in the mirror and say, “Hello, mother.” No offense to mom; she’s beautiful, but no one wants to look like their mother, right? Next was the long, blond bombshell. Immediately I parted it into ponytails and began speaking with a Swedish accent. “Yah, dis is so not me.” In the end, the one that was “just right” was the one that looked the closest to normal; it was the one that suited me the best.

I confess that last night when I ran my hands through my real hair and multiple strands came out, I gasped. Then I did it again, just to see if it was a fluke; more hair. Once more…just to be sure. Oh no, it’s really coming out—not in clumps but equal opportunity thinning. I silently walked Skip to the sink to show him the carnage with tears rolling down my cheeks. Of course, he hugged me and said all the right things.

This morning I could still wash, dry, and style it to look presentable. But I know that the days of freeing my follicles are numbered and thankfully, so are my hairs. The Lord said, “The very hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matt. 10:33). By next Wednesday, the day of my second chemo, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to count them too. The doctor assures me that when it grows back, I will have curly locks. Imagine that. I pray that it’ll look just right.

Love,
Lenya

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12 thoughts on “Goldilocks

  1. Lenya, it is so good to hear from you here and on the radio!! Really looking forward to the Parables Study, especially seeing you in person, here, there, or in the air! Maran atha! Thinking of and praying for you throughout the day. Love in Jesus, *Psalm 17:15* Sandy

  2. You truly are a woman to look up to Lenya! Im sitting here in tears, so many mixed emotions, one I don't know how you feel can only imagine, but more I feel truly blessed to know you, maybe not personally, although have spoken to you on many occasions being apart of the women's ministry, but reading your blog feeling like I am in a small way apart of your suffering because I pray for you everyday. I also pray that one day I can look in the mirror and see His reflection, like I see Him in You everytime I see you.. God bless you for sharing such a personal matter with your sisters in Christ! I truly love you! Stephanie Tapia

  3. Lenya, this one really touched me. I, fortunately, do not have experiece with cancer but reading about you losing your hair put a knot in my stomach and made me so sad. You have lovely hair and you will look great with curly locks. You are a special person and I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Your faith in God is an inspiration to me. Lucy Nichols

  4. Lenya, regardless of whether you are a red head, brunette or the sassy blonde that you are, it comes from your heart and not what grows on your head! You are truly an inspiration to us all in how you allow God to carry you through this hard season. I am sorry that you have to go through this at all but when you come out on the other side with curls we will all celebrate with you just as we all pray with you now.With you in prayer, Nikki

  5. i am sorry that feels sad. i know it is hard. i am glad your God uses your husband for you to say the right things and hugs.i love your goldie locksyou are always beautifulit is just so humblingi love your new goldie locks looks great love you and are praying constantly rick and linda martin (ca)

  6. Oh the wig thing…..Diane was telling me about your shopping. I wish I had been there…I know it stinks going through this and i am so sorry. I do wish I lived closer to help out. I am praying for you and you are going to be beautiful with curly hair. It is strange how that happens. I will be looking forward to see how you "fix" your hair because you always look so gorgeous. Take care and love you.

  7. Dear Lenya- you will radiate Christ and His joy with or without your own hair! You always have in the past! God bless you! I know He will USE this trial for His glory! Love Maellen

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