Cancer Survivor, Family

For Better or for Worse…



It’s not easy being married to a man made of superior genetics. He’s tall and thin, blonde haired and blue-eyed. I promise he eats what he wants, when he wants, all day long, and has never gone up a pant size. After 28 years of marriage he’s had a headache once—one time! He’s smart and talented; he still corrects my English gaffs and I write books! He plays the guitar (electric and acoustic), the base (electric and acoustic), the piano, and the harmonica. He photographs on a level that should be shown in a gallery in Santa Fe or New York. He just rebuilt his ’42 Harley and we all know about his silver tongue oratory skills. Truly, I live with a renaissance man.

With all his amazing talents and abilities there’s an area in which he did not excel. Whew! That would be in the realm of coddling, cuddling, and care giving. I’m not saying he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t know how to show it. It’s like expecting a father to be a mother. The nurturing skills just don’t come naturally to him. If I need sermon suggestion…he’s the man. If I want to take a road bike expedition…he’s the guy. If I need the lawn or car maintained…he’s on the job. But ask for help washing your hair, preparing Cream of Wheat for breakfast, or getting dressed in the morning and things go south…that is up until recently.

I’m convinced that your prayers and God’s grace have transformed Skip into a saint. He’s on top of my complicated medicine and supplement schedule. He has accompanied me to every doctor’s appointment and takes notes. He ordered and assembled a teak wood bench for my showering needs. He keeps the wily Winston (our Airedale) brushed and bathed. At bed time, he places a beverage and crackers on the nightstand, just in case I feel nauseous. He tweaks the thermostat, adjusts the curtains, fluffs the pillows, and hands me the channel changer. It seems that my worst is bringing out the best in him.

Today he will escort me to my first round of chemotherapy. He’s made sure that my sister will be by my side throughout the eight hour ordeal and he will bring us lunch mid-day. Then, after the toxic drip, he’ll bring me home and tuck me in bed. I know when I wake up that he will have been hovering the whole time. What a comforting thought.

Love,
Lenya

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21 thoughts on “For Better or for Worse…

  1. thank you Lordyou do have a wonderful husband who cares and values youGod is showing you more and morewe are praying for today to go smoothly i am glad your sister will be theremuch love hugs, prayers your friends rick and lindaps you two are so adorable together

  2. Thank you. Lenya, for sharing so intimately. Isn't the LORD amazing in how He teaches each of us and weaves it altogether-for the good of each of us, all at the same time! That's God for you! "…to do you good in the end–"I know Jesus is with you now, as you head through this, in your heart and in Skip, and in the provision of your sister's presence, and in our prayers for you!!

  3. Your post brought tears to my eyes. The love of a husband, truly biblical. Thank you for sharing. I'll be praying for you all day Lenya. I know the Lord will go before you today.

  4. Sweet Lenya,Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart with us. I am in awe of the love you and Skip have for one another. God knew exactly what He was doing when the two of you met and married. What a wonderful example of true love. We will continue to pray for you and Skip as you go through this next season in your lives. Praise the Lord for His love for you both (and for us!!!!). Loving Jesus,Helen and Ron Berry

  5. thank you Lenya for opening up to us what may be so hard for someone to do. Even though we do not know each other personaly, I feel like I know you personaly like a friend. I dreamt of you last night, so I got up to pray for you right away. Thank you, Marilee

  6. Lenya,WOW! What a lady you are and what a man Skip is. You both have been an inspiration to me and my husband for a long time and more so now. God truly has blessed and is blessing you. May you feel His loving arms wrapped tightly around you every day, but more so when you get your treatments. We are praying for you and feel honored that you have a blog site to share with us. The Sisneros's

  7. Lenya, What a lovely description of the beauty in trials. My heart is reminded of Clay's transformation during our many failed adoptions. God cares so much that He is willing to change us. What amazing love that Skip has for you and the Father has for him. It goes unsaid that we are in constant prayer for you. We love you dearly.In His Grip,Clay and Michelle Schroff

  8. Hi Lenya- Its Cissie Graham. I just found your blog through Skip's. I just wanted you to know You and the family have been in our prayers. I am laughing while reading this blog post. Now being a newlywed to a man who is great at everything he does, which can be annoying at times, but just like you said he isn't the best care taker when I need some help! HAHA I am so glad to know you have a blog. I will be keeping up. We love you and our prayers are with you. Please tell the boys hello! Miss you

  9. LenyaThat's cute about Skip and what he CAN'T do. Most people would hardly imagine that there is an actual thing he doesn't do perfectly. 😉 RE: GermansMy father-in-laws mother who was Jewish whispered to him one day…"don't marry a German, they're cold and unfeeling" or something to that effect. Well, she was an expert on this she had married a German, his father! 🙂 Being a half Grm on my mothers side, what they do lack sometimes is just being as demonstrative as they might like to be. And your being married to Skip for probably close to half your lives, undoubtedly you have just brought out the very best in him. 😉 Among the other things he does well, he picked (and or the Lord picked) the best possible wife for him.

  10. Lenya,You and Skip are an inspiration and a blessing to all who know you. You are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience with us. May we all learn from your faith and peacefulness through this ordeal.

  11. Thank you Lenya, for sharing so intimately and teaching us in the process, the awesome beauty of cherishing our dear spouse unconditionally – just as Christ cherishes His own Bride.Walter & Almi in Boston, Mass.

  12. Okay is such an awesome blog segment Lenya! Just delightful… Hey Saint Skip…this is reminds me of you: …I remember Paul in his epistles mentioned how a dispensation of the grace of God was given him for their sakes.What a joy and blessing to hear the beauty of the Lord in your lives in this time. I just hope and rest in His Word…"I will take sickness out of the midst of thee…" praying we are as His children of Israel, knowing we are also subject to His sovereign will.Love you both!

  13. Lenya,We will be in prayer for God's Amazing touch, healing, gentle words of encouragement,comfort, and empowering through it all!!!God-bless Skip!!!Love to you and your family!Lydia Hoppman and family

  14. That sounds like my husband, the overly gifted talented part that is. I also saw his love abound through the birth of our twin boys. Though there were scary moments, I know it was nothing like your trial and journey at hand. It is encouraging to know that our husbands likeness in talents, would also produce a similar strength in a time of trial we may encounter some day. It is a beautiful thing to see that your faith continues to strengthen the masses even at your weakest moments. I pray God continues to use your trial for His glory.Thank you for showing the world your real life.Sally (I worked at the skate park a long time ago.) http://www.asherandsally.com

  15. I love technology! Thank you Lord that you have provided a way for us to keep up to date on our dear Lenya. God Bless Skip for Loving his wife as our Lord would have him do. I am amazed in my own life right now at how God is giving me what I need to face my trials. I guess we shouldn't be so amazed, look at our God!!! Love to you. Renee

  16. Hi Lenya, I'm hoping & praying that you're feeling better with each passing hour. Really was blessed by you sharing your latest entry with us. God Bless Godly husbands…

  17. Dear Lenya and Skip…how beautiful, how precious is His love and grace poured out to you both. I am blessed to see His love so manifested in you Skip. You are a true man of God. His…HIS.Lenya…the beautiful writing anointed by His precious Holy Spirit even in this time. He is matchless…thank God for HIS comfort, grace, love…the glory and the lifter of your heads.Love, Susan

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